Work You Can Feel Proud of

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So as a follow up to my previously posted blog entry I have some new personal insight I've decided I really needed to share with you, my Dialogerz. I think something most of us have in common is that we all if not now, at some point during our adolescent to adult life have worked. I'm not talking about school or yard work. I'm taking about an actual job. If not full time or permenantly, we've all at some point worked the part-time or even temporary/seasonal job. But none the less, work is work and I know that I've definately had my share.

After spending years upon years of working jobs for companies I was never truly happy with and investing my dissatisfied heart in workplaces I'd learned to associate horrific thoughts with due to feeling unfulfilled, I am almost in disbelief that I've now managed to grasp onto such an amazing and career enhancing opportunity. I am also shocked at the fact that I've managed to do so -  so early on in adulthood, especially when I was on the verge of settling for less.

Newly I have placed a job position as a registration director for a Ministry Resource group and naturally, nearly everyone I share this information with automatically draws the conclusion of  if not one, all of the following:

1. My job cannot be that serious,

2. It must be boring and/or,

3. I must be extremely religious to decide to work for a ministry organization.

But of course, I am going to be sharing a testimony as to why no one of these assumptions is even remotely accurate.

Contrary to common belief, I am truly amazed at what I'd managed to learn about myself in just the first week of working such a team-leadership oriented position all on my own. Having to work with others in a group setting and utilizing many leadership roles I never really knew I possessed forced me to recognize how much insecurities I had managing both starting out. Coming to this realiztion was one major part of my job that I've grown to overcome already. If in a week I've made such a life enchaning adjustment to my personal skills, it’s a little crazy to think about what the near future holds lesson wise in the next 3 months. If that alone doesn't already tell you why I'm fullfilled by my job, hopefully the next bit will showcase it.

When I say that the quality as well as depth in which I've learned so far is more than enough to last me a life time, I really, truthfully and fully mean it is. Although I feel undeniably blessed to be in the place I am today, I recognize that sharing with you that  it is because I work in a church setting that I am able to truly enjoy working wouldn't be fair to say because I don't believe that is the entire answer. But what I can tell you is that I do value the quality of my job and what it requires I do as work. I deeply value my works mission, what it means to me, what it does for others, for my faith and life journey and I am more than happy that I can truthfully say that and mean it. In taking the time to really evaluate myself, meditate on my career path and press into my faith is why I believe I've been blessed with such an amazing opportunity.

Leadership roles are often associated with authority which is also often associated with management. Working any management position of course can have it's benefits in the job itself, along with the opportunity to find "better" work but because I work a job that is right for my personal beliefs, values, goals and aspirations what I'm saying I value about my job is that it gives me the opportunity to have at a better life. There is not a day that goes by that I  take that for granted.

My entire reason for sharing with you the depth of my current job position is because I've learned something that I truly believe anyone, especially at my stage in life can excel with if they venture to pursue it and that is: do work you can feel proud of. Any college, university, high school or student of life for that matter can understand me when I say that it is very challenging to find a realistic balance between making decent money while working as well as doing what you want to be doing all at the same time. To find all of those things in one place speaks amazing things to me about the progress I’ve made in my life and I could not be any more satisfied. That all of the skills that make me who I am can be driven solely into a job that I enjoy and feel fulfilled by AND I get paid to do seems to farfetched of a dream yet its right before me and so simply too.

If there is anything I could go a couple years back and say to myself OR to anyone struggling to find a fullfilling job it would be not to worry so much about the title of a job position or even the company name and what it means to the people around you but, think about how will what I do for work help me fulfill my role in this world. Instead of asking questions like "what is your pay/compensation like?" , ask "what is your company's mission", instead of "what is the uniform?" ask "what personality traits best suit a position such as this one?". Maybe instead of "what is the job description", ask "what can I learn from working here?" or "what skills will I develop working this position" and after doing proper reflection on all of these questions, the right job opportunities will seamlessly fall into place because these important factors will easily lead you to oppurtunities that already fullfill the things you look for in working.

I hate to call what I do for work a job but, what I do call it is an opportunity. My reason for saying that is because I truly believe that what I do for work now is nothing but a favorable chance leading me to bigger places in life that  I chose to seek out and take advantage of. I personally promise you that what you thought you'd learn from working a cashier job at a fast food joint, or sales associate position at a retail clothing store, or even a phone call representative at a call centre will be more fullfilling to you if you press into the job's connection to your own personal goals, and all sorts of opportunity will arise out of your experience (work and life), all because you started working a job that to you represents not just a pay check but an opportunity.

My Trip to Montreal

On February 15th of this year my amazing friend Fadzai and I took an excursion to Montreal, Quebec. This trip was by far one of the best I've ever been on to date. Despite their consistently below zero winter weather, that stayed this way from the moment we arrived I truthfully could not have enjoyed my stay in downtown Montreal more than I did. The experience in itself was by far one of the best I've ever had and I will always remember it for various reasons.

Besides the fact that Montreal is one of the most architecturally stunning cities in Canada, what also made my excursion so flawless was that I experienced quite a few "firsts" during my stay. The complete range of new experiences I encountered made every passing moment totally worth the frivolously spent money. Before anyone gets the wrong idea, let me further explain.

One really awesome component about the trip was that both my friend and I went with our university. The trip was organized with the school making it essentially a college based experience. Our first night there we went to a night club called 'Lights' which was my first clubbing experience ever. Keep in mind that I am 18 years old and in Montreal this is the legal age for getting into clubs and drinking. I can't lie, Lights Night Club really did not live up to my expectations but it wasn't bad. I ordered my first drink from the bar, my drink of choice being a Long Island ice-tea which I found unnecessarily exciting but soon after, I got bored of their continuous playlists of non-stop House and Dub-step, which led to us leaving and arriving to our next stop at 'Xo Bar and Lounge'. This place was so bomb and the music they played was amazing! Everything I love, from old school hip-hop to 80's hits, some new age pop here and there but I couldn't complain. Over all the crowd and the variety of music selection was really good.

The second day in Montreal became the highlight of the trip very quickly. From about 10 am that day, my friend and I were already up and at it touring the city. The first thing we did was taxi down to the Montreal version of Toronto's Eaton Center. Man let me tell you, this place was LAVISH. I mean, it was then that I realized French people must have very expensive taste because everything looked so flawlessly structured and to an exquisiteness beyond my comprehension. Like everything had been polished with 50 carrot gold flex just before we arrived. It was amazing. Well, at least in my eyes. So of course we walked around like tourist, goggling at almost everything we saw. We took lot of photographs, got a bite to eat, and once we had reached the entire perimeter of the mall we made our way to the Montreal Metro Station. This subway station put me in such awe I nearly dropped dead. Okay, not actually. But being there was so surreal. I've only ever imagined traveling the Metro subway station in New York, so physically being in the Montreal Metro station was like a little taste of a dream. I like to think the Montreal version was close enough.

After doing some shopping and taking some more pictures there we made our way back to our hotel passing through some more shopping malls: Complexe Ailes and Complexe Desjardins and then back out to catch a taxi.

Later that same day Fadzai had mentioned to me that she had some guy friends from back home visiting in Montreal as well. We came to the conclusion that we may as well meet up with them since there wasn't much else to do at that point and made our way to their hotel. Once we got there and up to their room, Fadzia introduced me to all of them, we chilled and made some small talk. One of the guys proposed we go along with them to the Casino later that day. Now usually if someone were to make that kind of request from me back at home, I would not have hesitated to conjure up some lame excuse as to why I wouldn't be able to go (I am a little far from outgoing) but, something about the experience of just being away from home on my own to exploring a completely foreign city made me reject the idea of reacting that way and I agreed to go. This was probably one of the best decisions I'd ever made on impulse. As you've probably already guessed, this was also my first time going to a Casino and it was bad of course. "Bad" meaning amazing. (Excuse my lingo).
Although I didn't gamble, I did get to watch the guys play some poker, checked out the slot machines and over all just soaked up every amazing second of my Casino experience and its dopeness. Really though, being there with friends was just fun! And you already know I took photos too but hey, when else am I ever gonna get to walk into a Casino legally? Well probably not for at least another year as long as I'm in Toronto. I took pictures for the memories of course. Being there was just too sickening. I loved it.

After sometime my friend and I decided to leave. We said our thank you's and good-bye's to our old and new friends and then made our way back to our hotel area. Once we got back, we did some grocery shopping at the IGD so we wouldn't have to buy takeout for the next few days. Eating takeout everyday can really leave you feeling dirty so I was without a doubt more than happy about getting some sort of nutritional produce in my system after that shopping trip.

Fadzai and I  got back to our hotel and watched some TV, chatted each other up about our life philosophies and experiences like girls do, and overall just enjoyed each other's company. This still remains one of my fondest memories of the trip as well.

The next day was our last full day to explore Montreal so by this time we knew we'd have to make our last day the best. Since we hadn't done much sight seeing to begin with, we decided to go with the rest of our college members to the event they'd planned to visit Old Montreal. It was just a few blocks away from the hotel so we decided to go along and enjoy the view of Montreal's old architecture.
In exploring that area of the city, I saw a lady not too far in the distance with a horse and carriage. I probably sound wack saying this but I was almost petrified. I had never come into such close contact with a horse, at least not to my recollection and I had never even thought that I ever would. But of course, being in the city that I already have tried so many new things, fate would have it that   I'd make the conscious decision to at least move closer to it. We made our way to the horse and carriage and the closer I got the more panicked I became but still, I kept walking forward. Really, I'd never had an appreciation for animals until that day. Fadzai's non-stop laughing at how frightened I was to at least touch the horse (once I got close enough) didn't make the situation any easier but, as cheesy as this sounds, as it turned its head towards my face I quickly felt a little more relaxed. I remember sheepishly gazing into its eyes only to feel my heart jerk a little bit. There was something so humanistic about its eyes and its facial expressions that made it alot easier to connect to it on certain level. In those few moments I'd learned how to appreciate the existence of an animal. I don't mean to sound insensitive but I'd never had this appreciation before that day. Weirdly enough that first experience was really moving.

After walking around for a little while more, we hit the souvenir shops to do a little more shopping, stopped for some lunch at a The Montreal Poutinery (Montreal poutines are so bomb), took some more pictures of course, and then made our way back to our hotel until we came across the liquor store. Now I'm not too sure about liquor stores in the states but in Toronto CA the LCBO is a very well known liquor store franchise. In Montreal their SAQ is apparently the equivalent to our LCBO and because I am of legal drinking age in Quebec, yes, I didn't hesitate at the chance to purchase my first bottle. I mean why would I?! I had made it my new goal to try as many new things as possible.
I won't go into depth on my choice of beverage but the money was well worth it.

That same night we did some more club hopping on your own and ended up at this hip-hop night club called Musiq which was dope! This was by far the best night of the entire trip. It was flawless. Everything ended up being so perfect. It was really one of my top best experiences I've ever had in my life.
 
All in all, due to the complete realm of ever new experiences I endured, my trip to Montreal ended up being complete perfection. I could have never done a large majority of the things I did in Montreal, Quebec here in my home in Toronto and that is what made the trip especially amazing. The sequence of events that took place during my excursion all fell into a seemingly flawless order and each day always ended up being better than the last. I am so thankful to God that I had as much fun as I did and more importantly, in a completely safe manner. I can completely appreciate the experience and cherish it even more knowing that I had done something so rare and out of character to only come back home to none of the same things. No more clubbing, no more drinking, no more Casino, no more IGD, no more Metro subway rides, no more lavish malls with overly-friendly yet slightly creepy French people, and that's exactly what allows for me to get back to business and work 10X harder at my craft in school, because I had that miniature vacation filled new things that I can't have at the palm of my hands to take advantage of when I am here at home. You know?! ... Hopefully you do understand what it is I'm trying to communicate.

My trip to Montreal this year was an excursion to remember for a life time for that exact reason. As you've probably noticed reading this blog post, each event I've shared with you guys I also shared physically with an amazing new friend. Traveling to Quebec with Fadzai was amazing and everything we did together in Montreal was the same. I couldn't have asked to spend a better time in such an astonishing city with a better companion. She is so dope and I love her. I will never forget the memories we built together in such a beautiful city, and with my amazing college family!

ONE LOVE MONTREAL! <3

Ms. Misunderstood

Uuugh! What the flipping hell. I feel like I am in one of the most misunderstood times of my life. Regardless of being 18 years of age, which may seem young in the eyes of others I feel like an adult. Yet I am not often treated like one. Especially by my own parents. It is one of the most frustrating things I continue to endure. All I ever try to do is prove my maturity level and how responsible I am but for some odd reason it never seems to reside with them that I am becoming an adult.

I recognize that I probably shouldn't be in such a rush to grow up but because of the things I've faced through out my life time I can't help but think that I was unwillingly forced to mature mentally very early on. I don't see it appropriate to go into much detail on the subject but a lot of the challenges my younger sister, our parents and I had to face allowed for us to grow up quickly without choice. Like my dad would say, we had to deal with "grown-up stuff". I guess that might be a subconscious reason as to why I just want full independence already. I don't even know if that makes any real sense but life is confusing. Wallowing in my own thoughts about why people do the things they do, and what it's all suppose to mean can really drive me insane. Being alone can account for that too. Sorry... I digress, but back to my issue with growing up... All I want is to be appreciated for my maturity and rationality. It takes a lot. Not that I'm unhappy and don't like to be this way, because I am. And I do. It would just be nice to have adults recognize that not all young adults or adolescents are unintelligible and reckless because I know that I am anything but that. I am also confident that there are various other like me in the same position.

My Perfectly Blossoming Confidant AKA My Sister

Words barely express the adoration and appreciation I have for my beloved sister Tanarah Dove. She is my best friend, my closest companion, my favorite person on planet earth and I adore every little thing about her and her annoying ways. I can confidently say that I have absolutely no clue as to where I would be or what I would be in this world if she wasn't apart of my life because she is my life. Well, at least a very large part of it.

The pictures displayed below this post are probably not the best photographs to use in depiction of our relationship but hey, I think they will suffice.
In these photos you may not be able to see much of a resemblance but in person we never seize to go a day without being asked if we are twins. Yeah. It happens daily! Seeing as we are almost always together. I'm not exactly sure why this is so unanimous among people though.. because as you may already be able to tell, she is much more beautiful than I am. Honestly, she is absolutely stunning. I can not tell a lie. Come to think of it, this could also be a subconscious reason as to why I love her so much. Hmm... this very well could be the case.
Anyways, although we "appear" to look a lot a like; based on our height, physic, the way we walk, our closeness even in the way we communicate, we are extremely different people. Our personalities are almost polar opposites as Tanarah is more of the "loud mouth" and seems to be the extroverted type and I appear to be more reserved and introverted. Although this is usually the case, it seems that with complete strangers we tend to switch places. Weird right? Yeah, very weird. And that's one thing I'd saywe also have in common; our weirdness. Well, I honestly believe that we're a weird pair. We laugh uncontrollably at almost everything, we say and do the weirdest things and that is also what makes us so close; our ability to forget the rest and just have fun, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

I often talk about having a never ending abundance of bad luck (as my life seems to be a never ending series of unfortunate events) but I am 100 % certain that when it comes to Tanarah, luck was completely on my side the day she was conceived. I could not have asked to share the same blood with anyone better than my year younger blossoming confidant.

I know that there are a plethora of people around the world with sisters close in age to them as well and God bless them. All siblings truly are a blessings. The point I am trying to make in writing this blog is that with the luck and life I have, I would have never expected to be in such a fortunate position to receive a sister as perfect as mine. I adore her with everything in me.

I really don't think Tanarah would ever take the time out to write something so completely time consuming and cheesy in my favor just for the sake of expressing her love for her big sister but I'm alright with that... because I know I will always love her more than she'll ever love me and that is just enough for me. 

I LOVE YOU TANY-NEE! XOX

A True Virgonian

This undying feeling that occupies me; body, mind and spirit I remain unsure. Unsure about almost everything, especially when it comes to my future. There is no doubt in me that at my age, there are many others that face a similar reality. One could describe this course in ones life as very grey, unclear, and confusing; three adjectives I absolutely hate to use in description of my life. They say "hate" is a strong word but I wouldn't even say the term suffice. "Hate" I don't even think satisfies the description I wish to give the way I feel in this predicament. It is a feeling much stronger than that.

It is very much a part of my character to worry. Being a Virgo (born September 16th) could account for that fact. Not to mention, my mother as well. My constant tendency to over analyze almost any and every situation I encounter I am sure continues to destroy me. Many have told me I present myself to be very calm, nonchalant, even blase some might add. But inside, my thoughts and dreams remain very overly enthralled. I have a very particular and scheduled mind set and I keep to myself.  To be truthful, these thoughts I have about every little task I need to get done within a certain time period consume me and make me miserable. I frequently become irritated by this feeling of misery. It is very often that I reach my boiling point and give up easily. I like to believe that my inability to persevere is somewhat what of a coping mechanism I use in dealing with unpleasant emotions. It's not something I'm proud of.
One thing I've also noticed about myself is I like to rush through things. "Like" probably isn't the right word to use in description of my feelings, but you would think it would be because I tend to rush through everything. I rush through work, through everyday tasks, even as I write this blog I'm rushing like I have something better to do. I am oblivious to the actual material world because of this and also because I stay so reserved.

I still remain miserably unsure and worried about a lot of things. Even saying this makes me feel submissive because I almost hate to admit that I feel this way. All I've ever done is avoid displaying my emotions. I find them unpleasant and feeling unsure is the most frustrating of them all. I want to be sure, I want a plan, I want answers. That I don't have any continues to bother the living hell out of me. The only thing I remain sure about is me and who I am. My blog title: A True Virgo & Proud Young Woman I undeniably believe are words that best describe me as an individual.  Even though I am sure about myself, I'm not sure that I am proud of every one of my tendencies, traits, qualities and my overall character. However the couple things I am proud of collectively display themselves in my blog title.

I spend a lot of time working on being a better version of myself. To be truthful, even that bothers me as I want to be a selfless being and put others first. My faith gives me reason to believe that it is our purpose in life to put others before our selves.
I want to say that I've found it most effective for myself to leave my troubles, doubts and struggles with my faith in God. I truly believe he has guided me through EVERYTHING I deal with on a daily basis. Through prayer and faith I've found myself most joyful. I am 100 % sure that God listens to my every word and I truly believe I can fully rely on him for any and every challenge I face. My faith is bringing me closer to true contentment, and I want more. I want more of God. That is one thing I am completely sure of.